Yes this post is about it. Your reading this do you have it I’m beginning to doubt it here for me. This is not the physical it is the mental the self doubt. The one year I thought would be a good year and good Christmas is gone again. But then would it have been worse with the other job. I think probably so. Someone else does not quite see it that way though. Paying it back for the ultra seems to be that I never improved myself at home and am starting at the beginning from scratch. Work is not going well the f-t job is at a 3 day work week and one of the 2 p-t jobs the better one laid me off. At least I had it for a while that I’m not smart enough to be able to quit a job correctly that I at least had it for awhile. Now it’s 30 to 35 hrs at retail is all I have left for the 2nd job. That presents the problem in getting a fun run in, but still getting in 25 to 30 per wk. Thank God for the Ultra I did get to do that lifted a great weight from 20 years ago and gave me the confidence and knowing that I have the determination to be able to work though a tough spot with a little redemption also in the mix. Then againit still keeps coming.